5 level of listener

 If talking is a kind of art then listening gonna be a kind of knowledge. I believe that everyone of us have a kind of feeling before that is while you're excited to share something with your friends but you feel likes they're not listening to you or they're not interested and even ignore you. We as a human have a tendency that is prefer talking about something that we're interested, if we have some bosom friend willing listen to us and this gonna be something good. On the contrary, if we realize our friends just ignoring what we're talking  about. For sure, we will feel sad or unhappy. The lack of serious listening is also the leading factor that cause the family problem, couple problem and so on. So today I wanna share with you guys about 5 level of listener that you can use to distinguish whether others are interested in what we're talking or not interested. In other word, you also can use these ways to show others that you're listening seriously to them. I will start from the fifth level until first level.

Fifth level refers to listener who totally ignoring or totally not listening to you and even don't give you any respond. This kind of listener is the easiest to realize because them don't have any eye contact with you. Although they stay beside you but their soul is in other planet and all the respond they give are irrelevant. For example you ask your friends about what is your favorite Marvel character then he answer you Pikachu. The fourth level is acting kind of listener. This kind of listener will act like they're listening to you, sometime they will node their head or look at you. But actually they're not listen to you or thinking other matters. They have such features like fake smile, always node their head but don't give any respond, always ask you to repeat. The third level is selective listener. This kind of listener won't listen all the things you say but they will filter it and just listen the things that they interested. For example, if you talk with your friends who have the same favorite celebrity with you. Definitely they will listen to you and they are willing to respond. But if you shift to another celebrity maybe they will lose interest and start ignoring you. The second level is serious listener. This kind of listener will listen all the things you say and also they will try to give the real opinion from the questions you ask. But the only downside for serious listener is lack of empathy. For instance, today you complain with your boyfriend about your employer or director blames you in front of others colleague and this make you feel very embarrassed. At that time, your boyfriend he really listen to you seriously but he says that " This really is your fault, next time you have to be more careful to avoid the same mistake. You should  do ......". Even your boyfriend give his sincere advise to you but usually you won't feel happy instead you will feel annoying and wanna throttle him. XD Gentlemen please don't make this mistake again!!! XD Instead, the correct way to respond is " Aiya babe, how can your employer blame you in front of others colleague? It is not the correct way. Later I bring you to have your favorite food okay?" When your girlfriend complain with you about something, actually she need your comfort instead of teaching her what to do. So if you don't adjust your empathy to think from her view then it is hard to maintain the relationship. The first level is considerate listener and this kind of listener is the most friendly ones. They won't refute you whereas they try to feel everything you say based on your angle. For example, when you are talking something which is sad, they will try to feel your mood. Instead, if you are talking about something which is happy, they will also feel happy for you.

Thus, next time when you chat with your friends, the most important thing is try to feel their heart and mood instead of giving them life principles or advise what should they do. In addition, if you have learned this kind of listening skill you will be more open-minded which means knowing how to think from many angle instead of one. That's all I wanna share today, the five level of listener. Similarly, you also can use these way to train yourself to become a good listener.